im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
