I wannas sexs uuuuu
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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