I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize