I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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