You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
