i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
