it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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