Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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