you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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