im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
