You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
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woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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