i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
