Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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