do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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