But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
