seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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