Kiss
Puke
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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