Pappa wants mamma naked
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize