nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize