btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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