I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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