Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
