I must be too annoying 4 u.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
