Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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