Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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