On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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