You smell like a Billy Joel song
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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