my shit smells like andre
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need to align my fucking chakras
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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