I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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