Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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