just tell him i said nine months
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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