On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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