you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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