their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
