are you still at the devil's house?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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