so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
