Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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