And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
