Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
