she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
