fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
