You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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