im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
