Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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