And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
