Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
