i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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