BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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