I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
