I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
