I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
