That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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