I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
