I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
