just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
