i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
