So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
