As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
